Jack the Giant Slayer (2013), Bryan Singer

Watch Trailer here.

Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, Drama
Overall Rating:

(out of 5)

I was actually really excited about this movie, solely based on my love of Ewan McGregor. Ever since Moulin Rouge, I have been in love with him. Furthermore, I enjoyed Warm Bodies with Nicholas Hoult, so I thought "How could this go wrong?" Unfortunately, it did. If I had looked more into this movie, I would have realized that this really wasn't my cup of tea. This movie was somewhat cute as arecreation of a childhood fairytale, but I found that it was too childish for people over 16 but too 'scary' for children. My friend who was with me disagreed and thought children could see it, so perhaps I am wrong. This movie was incredibly long, and too cheesy for my taste. At least I got my dose of Ewan.

The Story:

(out of 5)

1 Point: Interesting

2 Points: Original

1 Point: Unpredictable

1 Point: OMGZ

Based on the popular childhood Fairytale Jack and the Beanstalk, magical beans grow rapidly into a large plant that grows up into the sky.  Unfortunately for the kingdom of Cloister, the princess is taken up into the sky.  The king orders a rescue mission with his finest men, but Jack insists that he be taken on the journey due to his crush on the princess.  When they reach the top, they discover that the legends are true and that this new found land is inhabited by giants.

Characters:

(out of 5)

1 Point: Well-Played

1 Point: Original

1 Point: Relatable

1 Point: Emotional Attachment

1 Point: OMGZ

Jack (Nicholas Hoult): A peasant boy living the simple life in the rural countryside who has a taste for adventure and finds himself falling in love with the princess. 
Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson): The mischievous princess of the kingdom of Cloister, who strives for adventure and fights against her arranged marriage to a man twice her age.
Elmont (Ewan McGregor): The leader of the king's army whose job it is to protect Isabelle. He also serves as a mentor for Jack.

Believability:

(out of 5)

1 Point: No Disbelief

1 Point: Well-Explained

1 Point: Characters Fit Conceivably

1 Point: Not Foolishly Omniscient

1 Point: OMGZ

As a fairytale, it is difficult to believe.  On top of that, however, there were some cheesy elements that made it even worse.

Weight:

(out of 5)
1 Point: Relatable Lives
1 Point: Relatable Choices
1 Point: "Wow" Moments
1 Point: Lasting
1 Point: OMGZ

The only thing you will remember about this film is how sexy Ewan is and about how much time you wasted.

Visual:

(out of 5)
2 Points: Visual Quality
1 Point: Unique Visual Perspective
1 Point: Special Effects
1 Point: OMGZ

I felt as though some of the special effects were a little cheap, but they did a really good job with the giants.